I had been procrastinating (as usual) on so many things for these past few months and writing is definitely one of them. To be honest, I just didn’t have much to write about. Anyway, I got myself a job that doesn’t swallow too much of my brainspace, allowing me to pursue several things that I had always wanted to do on the side. An office that’s literally 20 minutes away from our apartment, surrounded by weird Korean supermarkets and cafes, without the possibility of bumping into anyone I know. I kinda like it that way. The anonymity. The solace. My own comfortable personal space. It’s not always crowded everywhere here, mostly because of my shift schedule. I can finally breathe. ❤
R E A D I N G
The Secret History by Donna Tartt. Probably, the most aesthetically arousing book, that I am partly certain was written for me. Lol. The privilege, the obsession for beauty and philosophy, the constant need to prove a point. Friendships built on like-mindedness. Deep, intellectual conversations.I don’t know how to explain just how beautiful this book is. Honestly it deserves it’s own Netflix show. And right now, it’s certifiably top one for me.
“And if beauty is terror,” said Julian, “then what is desire? We think we have many desires, but in fact we have only one. What is it?”
“To live,” said Camilla.
“To live forever,” said Bunny, chin cupped in palm.
― The Secret History
This next one brought me out of my unemployed slump, it picked me up, shook me awake and pushed me into the corporate life again: Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. I found out about this book when I finally came around and played Bioshock: Infinite -because, unemployed. To sum it, amazing game, very confusing ending. Apparently, the city in the game was a dystopian version of what Ayn Rand had created in her book. I found it fascinating how a game presented the idea of Objectivism and turned it on it’s head.
“What greater wealth is there than to own your life and to spend it on growing? Every living thing must grow. It can’t stand still. It must grow or perish.”
― Atlas Shrugged
W A T C H I N G
Kinda loving this little YouTube series I’ve been into recently: Cracked – People Watching. Specifically the first episode, where Candy basically summed up the whole idea of dating into one beautiful sentence:
“Maybe the entire focus of dating should be to get a greater sense of self-acceptance, and then maybe that’ll make you attractive to the kind of person who finds that attractive “
L E A R N I N G
I have taken up sketching again. But this time, a little more seriously. With schedules and lessons and workshops and all that. Also, pottery. Although, I honestly don’t know how to get started with that. Time management, dear heavens, how do you even?
Getting started to be legitimately smart with my finances too. Just making sure that I buy the things I need, that will last longer instead of buying things just out of impulse.
P L A C E S
I traveled nowhere. Hiked nowhere. No events. No reunions. I lived the months alone with my family, doing my best to develop a rich inner life which I had been craving for. Saturdays spent on study. Sundays are movies with the family. I dined out with work buddies whose company I enjoy and are continuing to be my light source in an otherwise gloomy workplace. Such a quiet existence, unlike the one I had last year. All noise, no spunk. So empty and boisterous. I am learning to forgive and love myself in between the silence and the stillness of my lovely simple everydays.
P E O P L E
I am slowly, slowly, slowly starting to reach out to people. First to the people I left in my previous job. I have made plans with them this coming November and I am very excited about it. We’ll be launching and working on a secret project soon. Will update here on the blog once it’s up and running.
Thinking of deleting my Twitter account too. Been using it for nine years now and I suddenly felt the need to rid myself of one social media account just so I have less distractions. Plus, I’d want to remove the instinct to constantly want to document everything and post it online almost immediately. I need to face shit now. As an adult, it’s part of the fucking deal.
*Note: Might make this whole “Recently | ##” a monthly kind of thing. It’s so therapeutic and sort inspires me to sketch more and take more photos. *